Al Kirtley - and another thing...

Al's Secret Blog

Guitar and synths now added to Hill Street Blues. Terry McAvoy came all the way up from Somerset and played some really nice stuff at Pete's studio. Long way to drive for a couple of licks and one solo, but he did the biz as usual.

Going to be a few weeks yet before album's finished (hols next week- yippee!), so think I'll post the track on YouTube. Not sure how to do it, but can't be any harder than putting on a duvet cover and I did that once. Quick bite to eat, then I'll add the link.

(Much) later. Didn't go quite according to plan. Opened YouTube account - no problem. Got the audio track uploaded but then it tried to upload video. (It is You "Tube" after all). Only "video "on mediaplayer was display of dancing coloured shapes like I used to see when I was drinking. "Wrong format" for YouTube. Grrr! Will keep trying.

(Still) later. Hah! YouTube, who needs them? Tried myspace instead and it works! My grandkids will be proud of me. Check out http://www.myspace.com/547074182/music/playlists

Hi-tech Al

Al's Secret Blog

Cripes, just realised it's more than two months since last blog. Sole surviving reader probably long since passed away, though, so no harm done.

Mmm, what's been happening? Well, Rig's now a grandma for 4th time - Jerry James, son of Kristin and John, was born 5th June. Bound to be known as "J.J." Rig's now got 4 to my 5.

New album (which home page says will never happen - must fix that) coming along slowly when I can get mixing time at Pete's studio. 4 new tracks recorded with bass (Phil Berry) and drums (Mick Kirby) but I played total crap on 2 tracks so will have to rerecord piano, but..... theme from "Taxi" (aka "Angela" by Bob James) sounding great; even managed to get bits of brass orchestration done on synth. (Counterpoint's easier to hear than full orchestration, at least for me). Got my old mate Terry McAvoy coming up from wild west of England on Tuesday to add guitar part to Hill Street Blues theme. Should have it all done within next few weeks, then launch it to a storm of indifference.

What else? Oh yes, opened a Facebook page, largely coz Kristin saw on Pete's page that he'd been "mixing some cool jazz", i.e. my stuff. (Found out you can't read it without opening your own page, then more rigmarole to go through). Fear that this may have been grievous mistake. Got 20+ "friends", some of whom totally unknown to me, so not all items in "News Feed" exactly cause pulse to race. Showed home town as Bournemouth and now getting "local" ads popping up e.g. "Visit Bournemouth's most modern launderette!" (must put that on list). Signed up on same day Facebook got its 500millionth account. It was a Tuesday, so presumably a quiet day for them, but no prize received to date, so may not have been me (sigh).

Pete in hospital yesterday for op on knee. They gave him a dvd of the op (!) which he watched when he got home. (I bet Moorfields don't do that - wouldn't be much point if op not entirely successful.)

And finally, folks.... now >12 months since had a drink. Must qualify for life membership of sainthood.

TTFN (am now into facebook/text acronym-speak)

TBA (the blessed Al)

  

Al's Not-so-Secret Blog

Wasn't going to blog again until next week, as by then should have become a step-grandpa for 4th time (Rig will then have 4 grandkids to my 5 - used to be 5-nil to me), and will have done the long-overdue recording session, however...

Drove down to Sussex again yesterday for lunch with old pals from Trust Division (that was part of Lloyds Bank for any laypersons reading this). Wonderful weather and M25 looking as lovely as ever, with the sun sparkling on the acoustic fence. Usual suspects (Olga, Stephen, Christine, Richard Wells and Dave Watson). Was about to tell Richard that I'd bought Spike Wells's super new album, "Reverence", when he told me he knew I had. Apparently Robin Towns, ex-head of Legal Section, had read it on the 23 March blog. Uh, oh, I'll have to watch what I write now. These are serious legal eagles and any malablogism could end up in a Chancery suit, a la Jarndyce v. Jarndyce in Bleak House. Apparently 3 of the legal guys meet periodically as the "Star Chamber", which sounds pretty menacing in a 15th century sort of way, but maybe they're just John Grisham fans. (I used to teach law re wills, but never knew much law predating the Birkenhead acts of 1925, except for Howe v. Dartmouth, which for many years I thought was a naval battle.) Anyway, good job I love Spike's album. Great fun at the lunch, as usual. (p.s. Olga's married name is Jeffs - see blog of 23 March).

2nd reason for blogging now is that my cousin Pat, who's also a fellow www.theblacketts.com operative, found my version of "My Way" (see blog of 12 February 2009), written in my drinking days when I was coming off the wagon after 6 weeks. I've promised her I'll show the lyrics I wrote in 2006, on the day I ended my first enforced alco-abstinence, after a spot of liver trouble. They're set to Henry Mancini's "Moon River":  

New liver, growing for a while,

I'm launching you in style, today,

Enzyme maker, you're no Quaker,

Though I hardly know you, I'll show you the way.

Two drinkers, off to see the pub,

There's such a lot of pub to see.

There's money to spend,

Wagon's end, my liver's on the mend,

My alcoholic friend,

New liver, and me.

I really must stop doing this...

Al

P.S.

Yippee! Someone's out there! Jenny in B'mouth and Steve Law (singer with Caribbean Rhythm Band) have replied to last blog, giving me the excuse to add a snippet I forgot the other day.

This one's for gentlemen (and ladies) of a certain age. Do you remember Stan Freberg? He made some great comic records in the '50s, and is still alive! He popped up on a prog about a cartoon animator the other day. I don't think I've ever seen his pic, but he looks quite manic. I think he did a spoof of Elvis's Heartbreak Hotel with the echo chamber out of control, but my favourites were The Banana Boat Song (where the vocalist is told by the beatnik bongo player to move further and further away from the mike until he's out of the studio with the door shut ("Too loud, man, I can still hear you"), and The Great Pretender, where the piano player rebels against the repetitive 6-to-the-bar chords and launches into a beautiful piece of Erroll Garner until Freberg asks him "You wanna eat, man?" and it's straight back to the  6-to-the-bar. 

Oh well, now it's back to working out a few nuances of Bob James's "Angela", aka the theme from Taxi.

Al

Al's Once Again Secret Blog

No responses to last blog, so I can revert to complete self-indulgence, secure in the knowledge that there's no-one out there to bore. My elder granddaughter Holly did read it however. She stumbled on it by accident when Googling her name and St. Trinians (see blog of 25 Jan.) Incidentally the St. Trinians movie was on TV a couple of weeks ago and I spent half an hour freeze-framing the crowd scenes trying to spot Holly, only to learn later that I'd been watching St. Trinians 1, whereas she's in the follow-up, which isn't out on dvd until next month. Doh!

Surprise visit yesterday from my old mate Rob Tibble (onetime vocalist of The Stormers). He too remembers the Freddy Frinton sketch, as per earlier blog, so that makes 4 of us. We're still not sure, though, if he performed it on the Arthur Haynes show, so further research required.

Odd bits of music news - ex-Bournemouth guitarists will remember Don Strike's music shop in Westbourne Arcade, where Rog Collis bought Bournemouth's first ever Fender Strat. (I can remember Robert Fripp practising scales just inside the shop door with a Watkins echo unit on full and wondering why anyone would want to practise - never mind scales. Little did I suspect it was a first step towards King Crimson and super-stardom.) Anyway, although Don's no longer around, his wife Renie is still alive and is 90! Ed Roberts gave us the heads up on that so a few of us sent cards, except for Gert (aka Zoot) who thought it'd be cheaper to phone, but dialled the wrong number.

Sadly Brian Kirby, erstwhile leader of Tequila Sunrise (see Biog: The Surrey Years) died. Great turnout for the funeral at Chiltern Crematorium. Virtually all of the old band were there - Dave Crabtree (saxes), Barry Caws (trumpet), Ian Lee (trombone), Tony Eden (bass), me and of course Brian's brother Mick (drums). Chris Shepherd (ex-drummer with Geno Washington and our drummer in the Savanna Showband) there too, and lots of other musos. Alan Swinden (bass) couldn't make it due to illness. John Dunsterville and Tony Eden gave a polished rendition of A Whiter Shade of Pale. (They were inevitably dubbed the creme de la Crem.) Then off to the pub, where yrs truly drank cups of coffee.

As no-one's reading this, a little bit of Lloyds Bank indulgence. Been swopping a few emails with my old friend Mac McAuliffe over recent death of Sir Brian Pitman, former Chairman of Lloyds. According to the Telegraph he was a former "jazz trombonist". Brian once told me that he used to play the tea dances in the Waldorf in the Aldwych, which isn't exactly cutting edge jazz, but whatever.... He was my boss's boss, but could never remember my name, so to this day I feel uncomfortable watching Homer Simpson with Mr. Burns.

Speaking of Lloyds Bank, am now part of a group of ex-Trust Division people who meet up for lunch in Sussex regularly. Great fun! Last one attended by Olga Chubb (she's now a widow but I can't remember her married name), Christine Durham, Richard Wells and Dave Watson. (Previous one was also attended by Stephen Dee, Robin Towns, Derek Booker and Dave Brown.) Richard Wells told me that his namesake in Legal Section, Michael Wells, aka Spike Wells, the jazz drummer, has a new album out and I bought it. It's called "Reverance" and is terrific! So now I know I wasn't just not the best jazz musician in London - I wasn't even the best one in Lloyds Bank Trust Division, Chief Office. Ah well, I bet he can't play Great Balls of Fire while standing up at the piano. (Neither can I actually - I'm too tall). 

Time for a bottle of alco-free wine.

Al

   

Al's not-so-secret blog

Activity on the site has reached fever-pitch, as since the last blog three (yes,folks, three, and from different people) submissions have come in. First was a comment posted by my old school chum Duncan Hume, who used to keep me in stitches at school. He too recalls the Freddy Frinton sketch, so it wasn't a figment of my imagination brought on by alco-withdrawal. Dunc's comment was posted within two hours of the blog being added, so he's obviously got some v. sophisticated NSA-type monitoring software. (Wonder if I've now been "red-flagged" by Fort Meade...don't care, I like the attention.) 

Next, email from Rod Hogarth, who, though a lot younger than me (like most people I know who are still breathing), has had an uncannily similar life to me - ex-Bournemouth muso, lived in County Durham for a bit, now into genealogy, etc... We could have written each other's emails.

And finally email from Jake Jacobs, guitarist-extraordinaire and the wild man of the Swanage Festival, who was part of our drunken tour of France with Cadillac all those years ago. (Q.1 How do you get a rock guitarist to turn down?  A. Put some dots in front of him. Q.2 How do you get him to turn off?  A. Ask him to play them.) NB. I've promised Jake not to reveal that his first name's really Iain, as that would mean he'd never get another gig.

Speaking of names, I bet everyone's gagging to know why Zoot Money is known (to me) as Gert. It's really quite prosaic (look it up). At my 50th birthday bash ZM and I had a piano battle without the rest of the band, swopping phrases around a 12-bar. (I cheated and won by using a Charlie Parker sequence that Andy Summers had shown me years ago.) We've done it a couple of times since and ZM took to referring to us as Gert and Daisy, two characters played on the wireless by Elsie and Doris Waters (look them up too). And that's all there is to it...

As usual, not much happening, so will resort to vicarious blog. (look up that...no, never mind). Our good friends Kev and Teri have bought an estate. Not a new car, but a bloody great house not far from us with lots of acres, a big lake, separate cottage, gymn and studio etc. The kitchen is big enough to hold an orchestra and you could still get a table not too close to the band. So now we know posher people than you, at least until they have to sell it to the National Trust. Wonder how many post codes they've got?

TTFN

Al

p.s. Will whoever borrowed my copy of Machiavelli's The Prince please return it as I want to know what Lord Mandelson will do next.

Al's Nearly Secret Blog

Uh oh, last post has been spotted by Jen from Bournemouth, who signs herself "groupie". (I think she worked for a casino, so that might be spellchecker trying to cope with "croupier".) Anyway, I'll obviously have to be on my best blogging behaviour. Average daily viewings of blog are 2.71 so obviously me looking at it accounts for only 2.70 per day.

So what's been happening? Not much, obviously, though surprise brief visit from No. 1 daughter, Emma and husband yesterday, down from Chester for school reunion. She's coming up to 41 but looks almost as young as her father. Lovely to see them.

Still spending c. 40 hrs. p.w. on www.theblacketts.com, which is now part of the Web Archiving Programme of The British Library, as they consider it as of "scholarly and cultural importance"! (little do they know I'm an ex-washboard player.)

Had two (!) trips to London before Christmas - very rare, as it makes the local press if I go down to the village shop. First was to see new movie of St. Trinians, as my elder granddaughter, Holly, was an extra in it. (Blink and you missed her, just like her dad's early TV appearances.)

Then up to Bull's Head at Barnes to see Gert (aka Zoot Money). Great band with usual supects (Paul MacCallum on bass, Ronny Johnson on gtr. etc) and Nick Newell - brilliant ex-B'mouth tenor player - hadn't seen him for 40 years. Was invited up, but declined as I didn't think steam piano would add anything to it. (NB. John "Jet" Berryman, erstwhile bassplayer with Dave Anthony and the Ravers, met up with us there.) 

Haven't got much further with new album (which will be called "And Another Thing"). 9 tracks from old cassette tapes now on CD, but I need to re-record 3 more - theme from Mash (see last blog), Taxi, and I Wish I Knew (theme music to Barry Norman 's film programme.) Will try to teach bass parts to Rig when she's sober(ish) and ask Mick to do drums.

Still amending/correcting a few Wikipedia articles. Despite being "of scholarly and cultural importance" (see above) still feels like I'm writing graffiti on a wall, but no complaints from Wikipedians so far. Next one will be article on Freddy Frinton, British comic, whose sketch "Dinner for One" (he plays the butler for a senile old lady who keeps toasting her friends at the dinner table - they're not there as they're all long dead, so the butler has to drink each one, and gets more and more pissed) is shown every Christmas on German and Norwegian TV. Every Freddy Frinton site says this was never shown on British TV, but when I first saw it in Norway I remembered it. I think it was on the Arthur Haynes Show, or something similar. None of my mates can recall it, except Rog Collis, but he lives in Thailand so's probably smoking funny substances (lucky him). CAN ANYONE OUT THERE HELP ME ON THIS? if not, I may be forced to invent a ficitious person to corroborate my recollection.

Still not drinking, but haven't yet cut out the fags.

Will reveal in next blog why Zoot is called Gert.

TTFN, Al

Al's Secret Blog

I've had thousands of requests from one or two people to revive the blog, but have desisted as I thought they were just being polite.  However, a few weeks ago a nice lady from Bournemouth called Jenny wrote in who'd obviously been reading it, and it turns out that not only did she start working for Lloyds Bank the same year as me (1961) but she actually remembers the shirts that we wore in the Tennessee Tramps skiffle group in 1957! (They were black, with red fringes, the shirts that is.) I also had a nice message from Lol Duffin, late of Bournemouth, now of Australia, who unfortunately gave me the wrong email address so I couldn't reply to him. [Yes, Lol, I did play at your leaving party and Spud Martin was there - whatever happened to him?]

On top of that, this year's Christmas cards from two of my old chums and colleagues in Lloyds Bank Executor & Trustee Dept./Trust Division, Dave Rule and John Glanville, each alluded to the site blog, so I've decided to do some more blogging on an occasional basis. I'm not telling anyone, however, and it's been so long since the last blog that nobody will be looking, hence the "secret" blog. 

So what's happened? Well the biggest thing is that last July my years of heroic drinking finally caught up with me and, to paraphrase the Duke of Wellington, it was a damn close-run thing. I did at least get to ride in an ambulance but it was pretty scarey and I promised The Big Guy Up There that if I got through it I'd never have another drink, and I haven't. It's been easier than I thought, thanks to alco-free wine, and I feel and look 10 years younger (therefore only about 75) and have stopped falling over. The only downside is that the old sleep pattern's a bit mucked up. But, I've got lots more energy and even found the nerve to shave off my beard - still got the moustache, though, which I first grew in Silver Jubilee year (1977).

A few muso-type developments: I've at last added conga drums (by Des James, the Colin Powell lookalike) to some of the tracks on the album, and I hope that the webmaster, James Wood, (Rig's son-in-law, who's now the proud father of three kids, Oskar, Tomas and Charlotte) will shortly put the new version on the site download page. (James, if you're reading this it's tracks 2,3,5,6,7 & 8). I'm also trying to put together a 2nd album, mostly comprising extracts from tapes of live gigs over the years. Hope to get that done next Friday at my son's studio, but I want to do one live track, "Suicide is Painless" (the theme from MASH), and I need to practise one section in B natural (5 sharps!), as well as working up my chops, which have decayed badly since I stopped gigging.

I've just realised that this is all a bit bland and is boring the entire readership (i.e. me), so I'll defer the other snippets till the next blog, whenever that may be.

TTFN,

Al

  

P.S.

Dear Diary,

Tuesday 17 February

Have had thousands of requests from one or two people to continue blog, but am now too busy boozing again. (Yes, I gave in.)

Got blood test results today - brilliant! Gamma GTs down to 50 (max. was 302) so liver's recovered yet again - worthy of Lazarus. Vit. B12 592 - highest ever, so no wonder have got all that energy. And.... cholesterol down from 9.2 to 6.7 - not ideal, but pretty good result. Have got to see Sister next week, presumably as she wants to check that it's really me.

In unlikely event that I do something interesting may do more blogs, particularly as being read in New York (by my old mate John Penhale), but until then ttfn.

St. Al the Healthy

The diary of Al Kirtley, expectant alcoholic, aged 42 days.

Dear Diary,

 

Thursday 12 February

 

42 down, bugger all to go.

 

4.56 p.m. This is my ... once a beer day!!!! Will be down pub by 6.00.

 

Just time for a little ditty, as usual suitably sombre for such august occasions. It's "My Way", with apologies to Frank Sinatra, (and Paul Anka, who wrote it.)

 

 

1  And now, the end is near,

It’s been six weeks since I’ve been boozing,

My feet can both appear,

Through all the weight that I’ve been losing.

I’ve lived a life of booze,

All through the week, not just on Friday,

God knows, my liver shows,

I drank it my way.

 

2 Red wines, I’ve had a few,

And there’s the scotch that I don’t mention,

But now my liver’s cured,

It’s up for sale, that’s my intention.

To think I drank all that,

And may I say, not in a dry way,

Oh no, oh no not me,

I drank it my way.

 

(Chorus) For what is a drunk, what has he got?

A liver that’s, not worth a lot,

The NHS won’t pay my price,

They didn’t want my sacrifice,

If they won’t buy, then I’ll still try...

...There’s always e-bay.

 

St. Al, signing off.